Many students dream of attending famous schools like Harvard, Yale, Princeton, and other Ivy League universities. These schools get applications from thousands of smart students every year. Your grades and test scores matter a lot, but your personal essay can make you stand out from other students with similar grades.
At Topgrades, we have spent nearly 20 years helping students create essays that catch the attention of college admission officers. We have seen what works and what doesn't. We know what makes an essay special and memorable.
Your personal essay is not just another form to fill out. It is your chance to speak directly to the people who decide if you get into your dream school. It's where you can show them who you really are - your values, your thoughts, your dreams, and what makes you different from other students.
In this guide, we will walk you through how to write an essay that tells your unique story in a clear and interesting way. We will show you examples of good and bad essays, and explain why they work or don't work. By the end, you will know how to write an essay that truly represents who you are.
Why Personal Essays Are So Important
Many students and parents focus too much on grades and test scores. Yes, these numbers are important. But for top schools, most applicants already have excellent grades. The essay is where you can show something about yourself that numbers can't tell.
Personal essays are important for several big reasons:
They show your writing skills. Colleges want students who can express their thoughts clearly. Your essay shows if you can organize your ideas and communicate well. This matters because in college, you will write many papers and need to explain your thoughts to professors and classmates.
For example, a student who writes, "I want to be a doctor because I like science and want to help people," doesn't show strong writing skills. But a student who writes, "When my grandmother was diagnosed with diabetes, I started reading medical journals to understand her condition better. I realized that medicine combines my love of science with my desire to make a real difference in people's lives," shows they can express ideas with specific details and clear connections.
They reveal your personality. Your essay is the only part of your application that shows your voice and personality. Admission officers want to know what kind of person you are beyond your grades and activities. Are you curious? Thoughtful? Determined? Creative? Your essay can show these qualities through your words and stories.
A student once wrote about how he fixed old bicycles in his garage and gave them to kids in his neighborhood who couldn't afford bikes. This simple story showed his generosity, problem-solving skills, and community spirit much better than simply listing "community service" on his application.
They demonstrate your values. What matters to you? What drives you? Your essay can answer these questions by showing what you care about and why. This helps colleges understand if you would fit well with their community and values.
One student wrote about how she started a club at school to help new immigrant students feel welcome. Her essay showed she valued inclusion, empathy, and taking action when she saw a problem. These values matched well with the college she was applying to, which emphasized community service and global understanding.
They complete your application. While grades show what you can do in class, essays show who you are outside the classroom. They help admission officers see the whole picture of who you are as a person. This is especially important if there are parts of your application that need explanation, like a lower grade in one semester or a gap in your activities.
Understanding What Ivy League Schools Look For
After reading thousands of essays over 20 years, we know what makes admission officers at top schools take notice. Here's what Ivy League schools really look for in essays:
Authenticity: Top schools want to hear your real voice and story. They have read thousands of essays and can spot fake or exaggerated stories immediately. Don't try to sound like someone else or write what you think they want to hear. Instead, be honest about who you are and what matters to you.
One admission officer told us, "The essays I remember most are the ones where I feel like I'm hearing the student's real voice, not their parent's voice or their English teacher's voice." This means using words you would normally use and writing about things you actually care about.
Self-awareness: Colleges want students who understand themselves - their strengths, their weaknesses, and how they have grown. Your essay should show that you have thought deeply about your experiences and learned from them.
Good essays often include moments of reflection like: "At first, I thought the project failed because of technical problems, but later I realized my own fear of asking for help had been the biggest obstacle. This taught me that being independent doesn't mean doing everything alone."
Intellectual Curiosity: Ivy League schools look for students who love learning for its own sake, not just for grades. Your essay should show how you explore ideas and seek knowledge outside of school requirements.
One student wrote about how reading a book about urban planning led her to start mapping her own city's public transport system and thinking about how to improve it. This showed she was curious about real-world problems and motivated to learn on her own.
Growth Mindset: Colleges want students who can learn and grow from challenges. Essays that show how you have changed or developed through an experience are very powerful.
For example, instead of writing, "I have always been good at math," a stronger essay might say, "When I failed my first calculus test, I realized memorizing formulas wasn't enough. I needed to truly understand the concepts. I started meeting with my teacher weekly and drawing visual representations of problems. By the end of the year, I not only improved my grade but developed a deeper appreciation for how math describes the world around us."
Clear Communication: Even the most amazing story won't impress if it's told in a confusing way. Your essay should be clear and easy to follow. This doesn't mean it needs to be simple, but it should be organized in a way that makes sense.
Finding Your Unique Story
Every student has experiences that have shaped who they are. The challenge is finding the right story to tell. Here's how to find yours:
Reflect on Key Moments
Think about times in your life that changed you or taught you something important. These moments don't need to be dramatic or impressive. Often, small everyday experiences make the most meaningful essays.
These moments might include:
A challenge you overcame: Maybe you struggled with a specific subject in school but found a creative way to master it. Or perhaps you faced a personal obstacle, like moving to a new country or dealing with a health issue.
A moment when you failed but learned something: Failure stories often make powerful essays because they show your ability to bounce back and grow. Think about a time when things didn't go as planned, but you learned an important lesson.
A time when you helped someone else: Stories that show your impact on others can reveal your values and character. Did you help a younger student learn to read? Did you care for a family member during a difficult time?
An experience that changed how you see the world: Maybe a book, a trip, a conversation, or an event shifted your perspective on something important.
One student wrote about helping his mother learn English after they moved to the United States. He described their roles reversing as he became the teacher and she the student. Through this experience, he gained appreciation for his mother's determination and realized the power of language to connect people. This simple family story revealed his values, his relationship with his family, and his understanding of cultural identity.
Ask Yourself Important Questions
To find your unique story, ask yourself:
What makes you different from other students with similar grades and activities? What experience has had the biggest impact on your life? What do you think about when you have free time? What problem in the world do you wish you could solve? What do you want colleges to know about you that isn't shown in other parts of your application?
Look Beyond the Obvious
Many students write about winning a sports championship or a trip abroad. These topics can work, but they are very common. Try to think of experiences that are unique to you.
Sometimes small, everyday moments can make powerful essays. One student wrote about making dinner for her siblings every night while her parents worked late. She described how she turned this chore into a creative challenge, experimenting with recipes and turning her kitchen into a "food lab." This essay revealed her creativity, responsibility, and positive attitude toward challenges.
Another student wrote about his collection of maps and how drawing imaginary worlds taught him to think about possibilities beyond what exists. This unusual hobby showed his creativity and imagination in a memorable way.
Common Essay Mistakes and How to Fix Them
After reading thousands of college essays, we have seen the same mistakes over and over. Here are the most common problems and how to fix them:
1. Writing What You Think Admission Officers Want to Hear
Poor Example: I have always dreamed of attending your prestigious university because it is the best in the world, and I have wanted to be a doctor since I was three years old. I am extremely passionate about medicine and cannot imagine doing anything else with my life. I am determined to find a cure for cancer and make the world a better place. Your world-class medical program is perfect for me because I want to learn from the best professors in the field.
This essay sounds fake because:
- It uses empty praise about the university
- It makes unrealistic claims (wanting to be a doctor since age three)
- It doesn't include any personal details or specific experiences
- It makes huge promises (finding a cure for cancer)
- It doesn't show the student's real personality or thoughts
Good Example: The old microscope my parents gave me for my twelfth birthday opened a new world. I spent hours examining drops of pond water, amazed by the tiny organisms living there. When my grandfather was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease three years later, I became curious about the microscopic causes of his tremors. I started volunteering at the senior center where he received therapy, both to spend time with him and to understand more about neurological conditions. Working with patients taught me that medicine is about more than biology—it's about building trust and treating the whole person. While I don't know exactly what medical field I'll pursue, these experiences have shown me that I want to combine scientific research with direct patient care.
This essay works because:
- It shows how the student's interest developed naturally over time
- It includes specific details and experiences
- It connects personal experiences to career interests
- It sounds like a real person with genuine thoughts
- It shows maturity by acknowledging that interests can evolve
2. Focusing Too Much on Achievements
Poor Example: I was the captain of the debate team, president of the student council, and received the highest score on the national math competition. I also volunteered at the hospital and was MVP on my basketball team. These achievements show I am a well-rounded student. My hard work and leadership skills have earned me many awards, including Student of the Year. I have proven that I can succeed at anything I try.
This essay doesn't work because:
- It just lists accomplishments without any depth or reflection
- It tells rather than shows qualities like leadership and hard work
- It focuses only on success without showing growth or challenges
- It doesn't reveal anything about the student's personality or thinking
Good Example: When I became debate team captain, I faced an unexpected challenge: half our team members were new and terrified of public speaking. Remembering my own shaking hands during my first debate, I created "Speech Buddies," pairing experienced members with newcomers. We met in the park on weekends, practicing speeches while walking around the lake. Moving made speaking feel more natural and less scary. Gradually, I saw our new members transform—not just in their speaking skills, but in their confidence. Mei, who once spoke so quietly judges couldn't hear her, eventually won the regional championship with a powerful speech about her grandmother. Leading the team taught me that success isn't just about winning trophies but about helping others find their voice.
This essay works because:
- It focuses on one achievement but goes deeper
- It shows problem-solving and empathy
- It includes specific details about how the student approached leadership
- It reveals values (helping others) and personal growth
- It demonstrates reflection on what success really means
3. Using Very Formal or Complex Language
Poor Example: The culmination of my extensive academic endeavors and extracurricular activities has substantially enhanced my cognitive faculties and interpersonal competencies, rendering me an exemplary candidate for admission to your esteemed institution. My profound dedication to intellectual pursuits is evidenced by my ceaseless quest for knowledge beyond the confines of curricular requirements.
This doesn't work because:
- The language is stiff and unnatural
- It uses unnecessarily complex words
- It's hard to read and understand
- It doesn't sound like a real high school student
- It doesn't share any actual information about the student
Good Example: I love learning in ways that don't always fit in school. Last year, I got curious about why some streets in our city flooded during heavy rain while others stayed dry. I started researching urban planning and discovered how storm drain systems work. This led me to design a simple water flow model using materials from our recycling bin. My science teacher noticed my project and helped me share it with city planners. They explained how they're working on similar problems. This experience taught me that asking questions about everyday problems can lead to interesting discoveries and conversations.
This works because:
- It uses natural, clear language
- It shows curiosity and initiative without bragging
- It includes specific details and actions
- It sounds like a real student's voice
- It demonstrates how the student's interests connect to the wider world
4. Not Answering the Prompt
This is a very common mistake. Many students write good essays that don't actually answer the question being asked.
If the prompt asks, "Describe a problem you've solved or a problem you'd like to solve," don't write about your soccer championship or your summer vacation unless you can directly connect it to problem-solving.
Always read the prompt carefully and check that your essay clearly answers the question. If the prompt has multiple parts, make sure you address each part.
5. Writing a Generic Essay
Poor Example: College has always been my dream. I want to learn new things, meet interesting people, and prepare for my future career. I have worked hard in high school and participated in many activities to get ready for college. I know your university will give me many opportunities to grow and succeed. I am excited about taking classes in many different subjects and finding out what I want to do with my life.
This essay doesn't work because:
- It could be sent to any college - there's nothing specific
- It doesn't tell anything unique about the student
- It contains only general statements without details
- It doesn't show the student's personality or thinking
Good Example: My bedroom wall is covered with a hand-drawn timeline of ancient civilizations. It started as a simple history project, but I kept adding to it, using different colors to show how cultures influenced each other. When I learned that Mesopotamian flood stories predated Noah's Ark, I added a blue connection line. When I discovered that Egyptian agricultural techniques reached Greece through trade routes, I added a green arrow. The timeline has outgrown my wall and now wraps around my room, a growing map of my curiosity. What excites me most about college is the opportunity to learn how different fields connect—to add new colors and connections to my understanding of the world. In Professor Lee's archaeology course, I hope to learn how new technologies are uncovering hidden connections between ancient societies that I can add to my timeline.
This essay works because:
- It shows the student's genuine interest in an academic subject
- It includes specific details that reveal how the student thinks
- It connects personal interests to what the specific college offers
- It demonstrates intellectual curiosity and creativity
- It helps admission officers picture the student as a person
How to Write Your Essay: Step-by-Step
Now that you know what makes a good essay, let's break down the writing process into clear steps:
Step 1: Understand the Prompt
Read the essay prompt carefully. Make sure you understand what it's asking. Common prompts include:
"Describe a challenge you've faced and how you overcame it." This asks for a specific difficulty AND how you handled it, not just the challenge itself.
"Discuss an accomplishment that sparked personal growth." This asks for both an achievement AND how it changed you.
"Share an important aspect of your background or identity." This asks you to explain something about yourself that shapes who you are.
"Explain why you're interested in a specific field of study." This asks for your genuine interest in a subject, not just general career goals.
Spend time thinking about what each prompt is really asking. If you're not sure, ask a teacher or counselor to help you understand it.
Step 2: Brainstorm Ideas
Now, think of all possible topics you could write about. Don't judge your ideas yet - just write them all down. Consider:
Meaningful experiences: Times when you felt proud, challenged, or changed People who have influenced you: Family members, teachers, friends, authors Places that matter to you: Your home, a classroom, a special spot in nature Activities you care about: Hobbies, sports, volunteer work, projects Challenges you've faced: Problems at school, home, or in your community Values that guide you: What principles matter most to you?
One student made a mind map with "Things I Care About" in the center, with branches for Family, Music, Science, and Community. From each branch, she added specific experiences and memories. This helped her see connections she hadn't noticed before.
Step 3: Choose Your Topic
Now, look at your ideas and pick the topic that:
You feel most passionate about - your excitement will show in your writing Shows something important about you that isn't in other parts of your application You can write about in detail with specific examples Answers the prompt directly
Don't choose a topic just because you think it will impress colleges. Choose something that matters to you. The most powerful essays often come from ordinary experiences that show extraordinary insight.
Step 4: Create an Outline
Before you start writing, make a simple outline. This will help your essay stay focused and organized. A basic structure might include:
Introduction: Start with an interesting moment or statement that grabs attention. End with a sentence that shows the main point of your essay.
Body paragraphs: Each paragraph should explore one main idea or part of your story. Include specific details that help readers picture what happened.
Conclusion: Connect back to your main point and look forward, showing what you learned or how this experience will affect your future.
For example, a student writing about her love of fixing old computers might outline:
- Introduction: Moment when dad brought home broken laptop, my excitement
- Body 1: How I taught myself to repair it using online videos
- Body 2: Starting a repair service for classmates, challenges faced
- Body 3: What I learned about problem-solving and technology
- Conclusion: How this experience shaped my interest in computer engineering
Step 5: Write Your First Draft
Now, write your first draft following your outline. Don't worry about making it perfect - just get your ideas down. Write in your natural voice, as if you were telling your story to someone who wants to know about you.
Include specific details that help readers picture your experience. Instead of "I was nervous before the performance," write "My hands were so sweaty that my sheet music stuck to my fingers as I waited backstage."
Show your thoughts and feelings as well as what happened. What were you thinking during this experience? How did it feel? What did you learn?
Step 6: Revise for Content and Structure
After writing your first draft, take a break, then read it with fresh eyes. Ask yourself:
Does my essay answer the prompt? Does it focus on one main idea or message? Does it show something important about me? Does it include specific details and examples? Does it sound like me, or is it too formal or trying too hard to impress? Does the beginning grab attention? Does the ending feel satisfying and meaningful?
Make changes to improve your essay's content and structure. You might need to cut parts that don't support your main point, add more details in some places, or reorganize paragraphs to make your ideas flow better.
Step 7: Edit for Language and Clarity
Now, polish your writing. Read your essay aloud to hear how it sounds. Check for:
Clear, direct language: Replace fancy words with simpler ones Active voice: "I built a robot" is stronger than "A robot was built by me" Specific details: "The old oak tree behind my house" is better than "a tree" Good flow: Make sure sentences connect well to each other Correct grammar and spelling: Errors distract from your message
Step 8: Get Feedback
Ask a teacher, counselor, or trusted adult to read your essay and give honest feedback. Ask them:
- Is my main point clear?
- Does my personality come through?
- Does the essay answer the prompt?
- Is my writing clear and easy to understand?
- What parts are strongest? What parts need work?
Listen to their feedback with an open mind, but remember that the essay should still sound like you.
Step 9: Final Polish
Based on the feedback, make final improvements. Read your essay one more time, checking for any errors or unclear parts. Make sure every word counts and contributes to your story.
Great Essay Examples
Reading examples of successful essays can help you understand what works. Here are two strong essays with comments about why they're effective:
Example 1: Finding Meaning in Everyday Moments
The smell of garlic filled our small kitchen as I watched my grandmother's hands, wrinkled but steady, fold the corners of the dumpling wrappers. "You must be gentle but firm," she said in our native language. I was twelve then, frustrated that I couldn't fold them as perfectly as she could.
For years, I saw these Sunday dumpling sessions as just a family tradition. It wasn't until I was sixteen, when my grandmother started forgetting things, that I realized what she had been giving me all along wasn't just cooking lessons—it was our history, our connection, our identity.
When she couldn't remember the recipe she had never written down, I was the one who knew the exact amount of chives to mix into the filling, the perfect thickness for the dough. Her knowledge had become mine without either of us noticing.
Now, as I teach my younger brother how to fold the dumplings, I find myself repeating her words. Through this simple act of making food together, I've learned that the most important traditions aren't grand or flashy—they're the quiet moments that connect us across generations.
These dumplings have become more than food. They represent the way cultural knowledge moves through families, how we carry our heritage forward even as we adapt to new places and times. My grandmother's lessons in the kitchen taught me patience, precision, and the power of preserving traditions while making them my own.
Whether I'm in a college dining hall or a kitchen across the world, I'll carry these lessons with me—being "gentle but firm" as I navigate between my family's heritage and my own future, between tradition and adaptation, between the flavors of my past and the recipes I have yet to create.
This essay works because it:
- Uses a simple, everyday experience to show something meaningful about the student
- Shows how the student's understanding has evolved over time
- Connects to family and cultural identity
- Uses specific sensory details that make the scene come alive
- Has clear metaphors that extend beyond the literal story
- Shows values like respect for tradition and family
- Ends by looking forward and connecting the experience to the student's future
Example 2: Learning Through Failure
The robotics competition buzzer sounded, and our machine—the result of six months of after-school work—completely froze. My teammates looked at me, their lead programmer, with a mix of confusion and disappointment. Months of coding, testing, and recoding had led to this very public failure.
On the bus ride home, I replayed every line of code in my head, wondering where I went wrong. Our robot was supposed to navigate an obstacle course, but it had stopped moving after the first turn. The competition we had been so excited about had ended for us almost as soon as it began.
The next day, instead of quitting the team as I wanted to, I reopened my laptop. With the pressure of the competition gone, I approached the problem differently. I combed through 2,157 lines of code, this time not just looking for errors but trying to understand each section completely. After three days, I found the problem: a single missing bracket in the navigation function.
That tiny symbol taught me more than any success could have. I learned that persistence matters more than perfection, that asking for help isn't weakness (my physics teacher pointed me toward resources I hadn't found on my own), and that sometimes the smallest details make the biggest difference.
I also realized something important about leadership. When I first told my team what went wrong, I was embarrassed and apologized for my mistake. But instead of blaming me, they started asking questions about how we could improve our testing process. Together, we developed a new system where team members would review each other's code before competitions.
The following year, our robot didn't win the competition either, but it worked exactly as planned. The real victory wasn't the functioning robot—it was the problem-solver I had become and the team that learned how to turn setbacks into opportunities to improve.
This essay works because it:
- Shows how the student handles challenges and disappointment
- Demonstrates growth and learning from failure
- Includes specific details about the experience
- Reveals qualities like persistence, leadership, and attention to detail
- Shows both individual problem-solving and teamwork
- Ends with reflection and insight about what really matters
Tips from Admission Officers
We've talked with many admission officers over the years. Here's what they consistently say they're looking for:
Be Authentic Admission officers read thousands of essays each year. They can tell when students are trying to impress rather than being genuine. Write about something that matters to you, not what you think will sound impressive.
A former Dean of Admissions at Stanford University told us, "We want to hear your voice, not what you think we want to hear."
Show, Don't Tell Instead of saying "I am passionate about science," show us through a story about your science experiments or research. Instead of saying "I am a hard worker," describe a situation that demonstrates your work ethic.
For example, instead of writing, "I am very creative," you could write, "When the art supplies budget was cut at our school, I collected bottle caps, old magazines, and discarded fabric to create a recycled art installation that now hangs in our school library."
Be Specific Use details that help the reader picture your experience. The more specific you are, the more memorable your essay will be.
Compare these two sentences: General: "I enjoy helping people in my community." Specific: "Every Thursday evening, I help Mr. Rivera, who lost his vision last year, organize his record collection by reading album covers and sorting them by decade and genre."
The specific example helps admission officers picture you in action and understand exactly how you help others.
Reflect on Your Experiences Don't just describe what happened—explain what it meant to you and how it changed you. Reflection shows maturity and self-awareness.
For example, instead of just describing a science project, you might explain how it changed your understanding of environmental issues and influenced your future goals.
Keep It Simple Clear, straightforward writing often works better than trying to impress with big words. Use language that feels natural to you.
One admission officer told us, "The essays I remember best are the ones I could imagine the student actually saying out loud."
Final Checklist Before Submission
Before you submit your essay, use this checklist to make sure it's ready:
Content Check:
- Does your essay answer the prompt?
- Does it focus on one main idea or message?
- Does it show something important about you?
- Does it include specific details and examples?
- Does it show reflection and insight?
Structure Check:
- Does your introduction grab attention?
- Does each paragraph flow naturally to the next?
- Does your conclusion feel meaningful, not repetitive?
- Is your essay the right length (usually 500-650 words for Common App)?
Language Check:
- Does your essay sound like you?
- Have you removed clichés and overly formal language?
- Have you used specific, vivid details?
- Have you checked for spelling and grammar errors?
Feedback Check:
- Have you had someone else read it for feedback?
- Have you considered their suggestions?
- Does the final version still feel authentic to you?
Technical Check:
- Have you saved multiple copies of your essay?
- Have you checked that it fits within the word limit?
- Have you formatted it correctly for the application system?
Conclusion
Writing a great essay for Ivy League applications takes time and effort, but it's worth it. Your essay is your chance to speak directly to admission officers and show them who you really are.
Through our nearly 20 years of experience helping students get into top schools, we at Topgrades have seen how a well-crafted essay can transform an application. We've seen students with perfect grades get rejected because their essays were forgettable. And we've seen students with less-than-perfect grades get accepted because their essays showed remarkable character, insight, or potential.
Remember these key points:
- Be yourself and tell your unique story
- Focus on one specific experience or idea that matters to you
- Use clear, simple language that sounds like you
- Show how you've grown or what you've learned
- Start early and revise multiple times
Every student has a story worth telling. Your job is to find your story and tell it in your own voice. The best essays aren't about impressive achievements—they're honest reflections that reveal your character, values, and potential.
Start early, be patient with the process, and trust that your unique experiences and perspectives matter. With careful thought and authentic writing, you can create an essay that stands out in the competitive Ivy League application process.
About Topgrades: We help students worldwide achieve their academic goals through personalized guidance, resources, and support. Our team of education experts is dedicated to helping you navigate the college application process and reach your full potential.
